We all know that a healthy relationship with your sexuality, whatever that may be, is part of being a happy, whole person. But it’s also pretty important for your physical health. For instance, sex can lower blood pressure, boost your immune system, decrease certain health risks like heart attack and prostate cancer, and improve your sleep (WebMD, 2024). Now, according to an article in the BBC’s Science Focus magazine, you can add a new health bonus to that list: improved cognitive function for older adults.
Sex really can help you enjoy your life to the fullest for as long as possible. Of course, we are not advocating for people to have more sex that they don’t want, force themselves to have sex for the sake of future cognition, or to focus purely on quantity. In fact, a lot of the cognitive benefits to be gained from sex are because of the interpersonal relationship with a partner, not just anyone and not just any sex. Have good sex with someone you want to have sex with and who wants to have sex with you. Satisfaction and connection are some of the essential components at play here.
Why does sex improve cognition?
There are a lot of things happening when you’re having sex. Of course, your body is releasing a cocktail of feel-good hormones and blood flow is increasing, but what’s perhaps more important is that your brain is generating new neurons, which is a big deal. As the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke states, “Neurons are nerve cells that send messages all over your body to allow you to do everything from breathing to talking, eating, walking, and thinking.”
Sex with a partner is a team sport, and there’s also a lot that goes into that. The social interplay and teamwork involved with partnered sex helps people work on team problem-solving, anticipating needs, expressing their own needs, and feeling intense physical and emotional connection. Sexual health is a pivotal component of overall physical and emotional health.
Is the answer more sex or better sex?
This depends on what age you’re asking about. However, better sex is never a bad thing. A paper published in 2023 found that between the ages of 62-74, the quality and satisfaction of your sex was more important for cognitive functioning, but during ages 75-90, it was the quantity of sex that made the most impact on cognitive function.
According to an article from Penn State published in 2023, researchers “found that declines in sexual satisfaction and erectile function were correlated with future memory loss” and put people at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, and other stress-related cognitive decline issues. That said, putting an emphasis on sexual satisfaction and nurturing a healthy and enjoyable sex life in middle age does in fact have an impact on your overall quality of life as an older adult.
The answer is always better sex, but once you’ve hit older age, maybe put more of an emphasis on quantity over quality. Your brain will thank you.
How do I start having more and better sex?
As a sex therapist in Northern Colorado, I am frequently asked this question, but there isn’t a simple answer to this. There are plenty of resources that you can seek out to help you have better and more sex, but we need to start here: sex is not a panacea to cognitive disorders in old age, and if you’re not upset with your sex life and it isn’t a problem for you, then it’s not a problem.
Now that we have this out of the way, there are things you can do to improve the quality (and frequency) of the sex you are having. Starting by talking to your partner about the sex you want to be having is a great place to start, but we’ll be getting into this in more depth in future posts, so for now, suffice it to say that there are a ton of resources out there that are designed and written by people who truly just want to help people have sex they love having.
Books
There are a number of resources that you (and a partner(s)) can read to help improve your sex life, including Emily Nagoski’s new book Come Together: The Science (And Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connection. We have mentioned many other resources in other blogs that you can look to, but Nagoski’s new book is incredibly timely given the research about sex and cognitive function. To find sexual satisfaction in long-term and long-lasting relationships, read what she has to say. You won’t regret it.
Podcasts & other online resources
There are a number of podcasts dedicated to helping people lead sexually fulfilling lives, including:
Each of the podcasts listed above also offers online courses and/or other resources that are rooted in science and therapeutic best practices. If you choose to look online for courses or ebooks about sex, make sure you do your research when it comes to the creators of the content. Not all content is created equally or comes from the same scientific and therapeutic background. Make sure you are vetting the creators of the content you choose to ensure you don’t end up with something that doesn’t align with your values.
Individual, couples, or sex therapy
If you’re hoping to get right in and work on you and your relationship right away, the best thing you can do is seek out sex therapy near you. Whether you want individual or couples sex therapy, working on the things with a (confidential) third party can be a game changer. A therapist can often see issues that you or your partner(s) may not have noticed or registered. Working with a therapist can help you break down cultural, psychological, emotional, and religious barriers that are standing in between you and a satisfying sex life.
If you are experiencing painful sex or sexual dysfunction, schedule an appointment with your healthcare provider to rule out any underlying medical causes and seek appropriate treatment.
Sex is a matter of quality of life
Most people like pleasure, and sex offers so many physical and mental health benefits that it’s hard to deny how important sex can be to a person’s overall wellness. Wherever you stand with your sexuality, relationship to pleasure, or your sexual relationship(s), prioritizing pleasure and healthy sexual relationships can only serve to enhance your quality of life–for a really long time. The bottom line is that prioritizing your sexual health now can have profound impacts on your brain health when you reach older age.
If you’re not sure where to start or are just ready to get some truly personalized help with your relationship to sex, sexuality, pleasure, or your partner(s), finding a sex therapist is the best way to set you (and your brain) up for future success. If you’re looking for a Greeley, CO sex therapist, Pivotal Counseling helps clients throughout northern Colorado make the most out of their relationships. You can call (970)-281-4677 or schedule an appointment online to get started.