Couples Counseling
Do your arguments have you and your partner asking, "what happened to us?"
Do you miss the great relationship that you used to have? Are you tired of fighting to be heard only to end up feeling more misunderstood and unseen than ever? Do you wish they would see how you're hurting and how much you still love them? Are you lonely even though they are sitting right there?
Sometimes relationships struggle. You find yourself waking up already feeling disconnected and unseen by your partner. You find yourself missing them but being glad when they aren't around. Things may seem ok, but you know that under the surface, neither of you is happy. When there are arguments, they seem to be about the same things every time with the same results: discouragement, insecurity, and rejection. You climb in bed, wishing you could be held by them, reassured by them. Instead, you end up feeling alone, even if your partner is just a foot or two away. You're exhausted and hopeless, but you're terrified to give up.
Do you wish that you knew how to connect with your partner in healthy ways? Do you wish you could feel heard and valued in your relationship?
Every couple faces challenges in their relationship
Lots of people believe that they are the only ones who are struggling. You aren’t alone, though! The truth is every couples struggles at times. In fact, some studies have shown that
9 out of 10 couples experience conflict in their relationship
6 out of 10 couples are unhappily coupled
4 out of 10 couples have considered leaving their partner
As you can see, most couples struggle at times. And there are good reasons that you and so many others struggle in their relationships.
Most people never have the chance to learn how to do relationships well. Many parents hide even low-intensity conflict from children, so you likely didn't get to learn how to manage conflict well from them. Few if any schools offer education about how to have a good marriage or relationship. Fictional television and movie relationships often model horribly ineffective or even damaging behaviors. On top of that, social, cultural, and religious pressures regularly contribute to mindsets and dynamics at odds with healthy relationships.
With poor relationship education, many couples end up getting stuck trying harder to get their partner to listen to them, only to feel increasingly disappointed and frustrated. Emotions escalate. Each one ends up taking the approach of either trying to win the fight (not make things better) or just trying to escape and get away from the conflict.
If you find yourself nodding along to this, you don't have to feel hopeless. There is hope for a better relationship. Couples counseling can help you learn how to defuse conflict, be heard and understood by your partner, and rebuild the happy, healthy, fun relationship you want.
Couples counseling can help you rediscover your happy relationship
Your relationship doesn't have to continue struggling. We've helped hundreds of couples just like you to rescue their relationship, reconnect with one another, and recommit to living a healthy life together.
Our clinicians have specialized training in Marriage and Family Therapy. This distinct therapeutic discipline makes use of relational dynamics and systemic principles to address the challenges unique to couples. We also have advanced training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, a research-based approach to couples work. We then apply specific skills and interventions from other proven couples treatment modalities to precisely address your relationship challenges.
What Will Couples Counseling Look Like?
When couples come in to see us, they're frequently in one of the most challenging times of their lives. So, we make sure to greet you with compassion and non-judgment. We've been through rough times of our own, and we understand what it is like to be struggling and hurting.
We begin our work with each couple by doing an intensive, 90-minute intake session to explore your relationship's unique struggles. We take time to hear from both you and your partner, to offer understanding and empathy, and to build a vision with you of the relationship that you and your partner want. You'll quickly notice that we aren't here to pick between your or your partner's side. We're here to be on the relationship's side.
We'll also spend a session with each individual, taking time to get to know your specific fears, concerns, hopes, and dreams for the relationship. We want to ensure that you and your spouse feel seen, heard, and understood in the counseling process.
Then, we return to meeting with you as a couple. Your couples counselor will provide specific feedback and observations about your relationship. Over the coming sessions, we will engage each of you in crucial therapeutic interventions and provide critical education and skill building. We’ll help you to slow down how you two engage to make room for understanding, validation, and connection. You’ll learn how to employ research-based tools to identify problematic communication, recognize and regulate your body’s reactions during arguments, and speak confidently about yourself to your partner. You’ll learn how to recognize, face, and overcome the patterns that have kept you from having the relationship you desperately want.
Each couple is unique, and we tailor our approach and interventions to the two of you. We work at your pace, whether that is quickly moving through a few issues or taking the time to address deeply-rooted trauma, betrayals, or behavioral patterns. We don't rush our clients, but we also don't drag out counseling. We are committed to offering you efficient and effective couples therapy that helps you feel more confident than ever that your relationship *works*.
Our practice has been helping couples reclaim their relationships since 2012. Over the years, we have seen over and over how beneficial it is for couples to get the outside guidance and support when they are struggling. We can do this for you, too.
Meet our clinicians who specialize in couples counseling
You may still have some questions
Question: I've heard couples therapy is expensive. Is it worth it?
Answer: Couples counseling is one of the best investments you can make.
Couples counseling doesn't just result in you enjoying your life and your relationship more. Marital or relationship satisfaction is linked to lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. It's also linked to improved physical health and workplace performance. Children have better academic and socio-economic outcomes when their home life is low-conflict and models healthy relationships for them.
Not doing couples therapy when it is needed has costs too. Conflict, isolation, and emotional distress all contribute to poorer mental health outcomes for both partners and any children. High levels of relationship distress increase the risks of emotional abuse and domestic violence. And when divorce happens, it typically costs a couple between $20,000-$30,000. You could work with a couples counselor every week for over two years and spend less than half of that (and most couples counseling doesn't last nearly that long).
Investing in couples counseling pays out in your own happiness, your relationship's health, and your children's well-being.
Question: Doesn't going to couples therapy mean that we've failed, that we're broken?
Answer: *Every* relationship struggles. Reaching out for help when you're struggling never means that you've failed. Reaching out means that you care enough about your relationship to do whatever it takes to heal it, repair it, and strengthen it. And sometimes what it takes isn't in your skillset yet.
When we don't know how to fix our car, we call a mechanic. When we don't know how to treat a rash, we call a doctor. Reaching out to a couples counselor is no different.
Question: We've tried everything. Can a couples counselor really come up with something that we haven't thought of?
Answer: When you feel hopeless about helping yourself, it is easy to believe that no one can help you. For some people, the doubt about couples counseling is just that: they feel hopeless.
Other people doubt couples counselors can help because they've heard "horror stories" from other people. In every case we've come across like this, the counselor they went to was not a specialist in couples counseling. Some very skilled and capable individual counselors advertise that they do couples counseling. These counselors simply don't have the training and supervised experience with relationships to work with marriages and couples effectively. Too often, they end up causing further damage to the relationship that only adds to the problems the couples are facing.
Our couples counselors are trained to work with relationships. We are specialized providers with advanced training in marriage and couples work to ensure that we have the skills, education, and experience to help any relationship that walks in the door. If you want help, we can offer it.
There's hope for your relationship
Whether you're still a bit hesitant about whether we're the right fit for you or you’re ready to dive in, the next step is the same: make an appointment for a consultation with one of our clinicians who specialize in couples counseling.
During that time, we’ll briefly touch on the challenges your relationship is facing and answer any questions you may have. To set up your free consultation, you can use our online scheduler, you can use our contact form, or you can simply give us a call. We’re looking forward to helping you build the relationship that you've always wanted!
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